I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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