i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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