My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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