can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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