So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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