All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
