You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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