My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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