put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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