Where are you?
In a non slutty way
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I need to sanitize my soul.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
