Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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