Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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