Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
