Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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