you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
