the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
oh god the rape fog is back!
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
