i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
