Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
