it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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