i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
