god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
