just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
