I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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