Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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