I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
