My room smells like vodka and shame
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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