before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
