Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
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