Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
