i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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