I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
