guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
