a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
