Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
