you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I did not marry a roomba.
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