she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
