I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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