I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
