You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
