I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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