how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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