carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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