I am spending my child support on dildos
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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