I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
