Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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