They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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