i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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