Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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