Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
