I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
