It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
