Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Randomize
