He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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